Category Archives: Health

Studies and well-being

Hey There!

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starbucks patio furniture

Image by bookish in north park via Flickr

Yikes! It ‘s been awhile. Here’s what’s up:

  • Things have been busy and mellow at the same time. It’s confusing. Anyway, my teeth of great wisdom were taken out end of August. It was a challenging recovery full of moodiness, fatigue, frustration, and — oh yeah — a trip to the emergency room with a mouth infection. Great, huh? So… Once the prescribed Penicillin took hold in my system, recovery seemed to double and my green/grey furry, shag carpet-like tongue was nice and fleshy again. I’m back to normal , however I was unable to exercise for a couple weeks and now it is just so difficult getting back into the swing of things. Such work.
  • The family and I have one last outing coming up before I return back to school. As always, it’s a bit bittersweet. But, I’ve gotta admit I’m very much looking forward to my studio and the upcoming (but challenging) school year.
  • I got an iPhone 4 a few weeks ago. However, for some reason I am having battery issues and my battery runs down very quickly. It’s a bit troubling but I hope Apple will take care of me when I bring them my issue.
  • Again, I’m really excited for the school year. Unlike my usual self, I now look outside and it’s much darker earlier and it’s raining and dreary — but I really like it. I think about being at the Madison Street Starbucks in Corvallis — staying warm and cozy with my iPad, book, homework, and music. I daydream about my studio and getting comfy and having a movie or sports on TV as the rain falls heavy outside. I even enjoy the idea of running in the rain and giving no care to how soaked my clothes and gushing shoes get. Well… Okay maybe I’ll take my workout to the gym instead. But I want to do much more this year than last year. So far, my sophomore year was better than my freshman year — now let’s make it so that my junior year continues the succeeding pattern. I think it’s possible now that I have even more friends than before. I can see this being a great, great year with many opportunities. Plus, I am determined on a major and am ready to go gun-ho on achieving my goals. Like I’ve said before… Bring it on!
  • Anyhow… I think this sums up most of it. I need to get my body back in gear for my running class I have this upcoming term. I need to make sure I’m at the top of my game and not a straggler.
  • I need an internship too! Oh jeez now I’m getting overwhelmed. I think I have to have four internship credits to graduate — whatever it is, it equates to about four terms of being an intern. I need to get my guns firing right now! Aye… I feel so behind.
  • So, y’all… That’s it for now. Hope your summer is wrapping up well… And I hope you’re just as ready as I am for another awesome year in the 541!

Turning the Page

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I’ve been thinking about the future.

So much of my time is consumed with thinking about the present — which classes to take, where to live come this fall, my academics, friendships, my personal mindset. But I’ve recently been exposed to thoughts of who or where I’ll be after college. When I was asked this by a friend, I immediately answered that I would like to work in Portland and live at home for a short time until I got things going and would find my own place. But… I think about it and now think more deeply about life after school. We are about half done with college. It’s never too early to look ahead and set new goals, dreams for our upcoming selves. It can be like turning the page in a novel and seeing things before they happen.

Perhaps Portland is not my destined location; perhaps it is. But what if I dug deep and, instead of going with what’s simple and most direct, took a leap into the dreams? Where do I want to go? Who do I want to be?

I wouldn’t mind being somewhere with better weather. But I also don’t think I’d favor a small suburbia town like Corvallis. Yet, at the same time, a large town like Portland is even daunting. The weird people, the traffic, parking, and sketchy areas. But I know I want to go into public health. It’s still so strange to me how I’ve been pursuing the wrong major up until this most recently-completed term – and then pretty much without taking any previous course or giving any prior interest, just jumped into the public health field.

So, I want to work at maybe a hospital, institute, or state organization to work/manage/create health programs. I’d like to cover, perhaps, something in healthy/fit lifestyles or HIV/AIDS awareness. However, these are just initial thoughts. I’m sure many other areas of health interest me. But where I want to work is still a big brainstorm. Should I stay near home? Should I follow my heart and let it lead me to new lands?

I think a lot my confusion can be solved.

I need to travel. I crave so much to see the world. Maybe if I got this necessity for adventure out of my system I could then feel more like settling in somewhere I’m familiar with… Like Portland. It would be quite great if I could travel within my employment company — fly out to attend conferences and interact with foreign populations and policy.

Writing this has actually spurred an idea. Maybe I should look into studying abroad through OSU. This will give me extreme hands-on experience and help me figure things out for the future. I think I’ll look into it right now. Study public health on the east coast? Europe? Australia? Ok… A little ambitious, but I’m still going to check out the possibilities.

Oh, man! Now I’m feeling so ready to turn that page and start writing my next chapter in life. What a good day!

Published from my iPad.

Life Under Spring’s Blanket

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I think you’ve figured me out by now — I am a total sunshine/warm weather advocate; I think many people are. I feel like last year at this time we were having back-to-back nice, sunny days. I remember our intramural softball games out in the grass fields, enduring the heat. I also remember going to astronomy class and I would be sweating. Though, I was also obese and terribly out of cardiovascular condition, and thus, was incapable of cooling my own body down. But the fact here is that over half of spring term last year was filled with outdoor-friendly weather. But this year it’s so different — and now that I’m more fit and actually desire to be outside as much as possible, the tides have turned and I’m restricted by this distasteful weather. The rest of this week is supposed to be back in the 50-degree area with rain/showers. Snow in the Quad last year?… So sunny and hot. This year’s forcast?… Miserable.

The weather also throws off my internal clock. I feel like I am still adjusting to the increasing length of daylight; I still have numerous times when I look outside and think it’s 6pm and it is actually 8pm. It is a lot easier when the skies are clear and the sun shines bright. But with these blankets of clouds and induced cold weather, I can’t really adapt to this change. I feel like I keep waiting day after day for when we finally have continuously nice days — and I completely am astounded when I step back and realize that we only have about one month left of spring term — one month!

I still think back to when I jumped out of that little airplane in Oahu. It was really right after that did I start having a completely different take on life. It was such a good change, and I think back to why I wasn’t scared when I crouched at that open door looking down to over 9000 feet of emptiness below me, I have some feeling that it was almost a calling. Everything changed after that, and I am so happy I left my old self behind in that tiny plane. Life is amazing, and there are so many things I want to accomplish as the new person I am. Let’s follow our adventurous minds!

I shudder thinking about how I used to be last school year. I was unsociable, cranky — and honestly, even depressed. I remember during a little quarrel with Bryce, he was lecturing my crabby self over how I took things too seriously and got all upset over the smallest things. It was a heated “conversation” — and he slipped up in his words and said, “That’s why nobody likes you.” Of course, I completely understand this now (and Bryce was correct, although riled up in discussion and did exaggerate) and I nod on that past as a very difficult time for me — but things flip-flopped in my life now like the contrast between yin and yang. I wanted to be like the others — the runners, the basketballers, the frisbee’ers in the park — the smiling faces without worry of their image. I longed for change but I stumbled over the frustration of beginning such an endeavor. I wanted to be the person I was on the inside, trapped in a body of obesity and modesty. I was emotionally strained, upset, and downright fed up with my lack of taking control of my own body.

I had extreme pent-up craziness — I really was going mad! That’s actually how this blog got started. I couldn’t bottle up what I was suffering anymore — and I really didn’t have the ability to share it with anyone. If you go way back in the archives from October 2008 and on, you will find poetic postings with no real meaning. They meant something to me, but those who read them were only thrown into a greater confusion why I was writing these and not just saying what I felt out loud; I got lots of criticism and made my social situation even worse. I couldn’t say my thoughts out loud because it was a war I was fighting with myself, and thus my postings were in a language only I could comprehend. I am so different now… I go back and read some I wrote and can’t figure out what I meant anymore. And then even now I go to write something poetic and there just isn’t anything to rant about in twisted words. I suppose that’s a good thing.

Anyway… I started talking about weather and wound up droning on about my life. There’s definitely a connection between the two. So let’s pray for the sun to shine and for life to carry on as bright as the perfect day.

F1: April 29, 2010

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Here’s what’s going on en mi vida:

  • Taking a trip to Eugene, OR tomorrow with Lander and Matt to go visit our buddy, Arunava, who attends University of Oregon. That should be a fun time.
    • Hopefully on Saturday we will go check out Eugene’s Farmer’s Market. Not only can I get extra credit in my GEO-300 class, but I am also interested in seeing what kinds of food they have to offer. Maybe I will try some local organics (“Local 6″) and see what types of ingredients I can incorporate into my cooking. I am curious about local, organic foods – and although a bit pricier than imported grocery store items, I believe, through my own experiences, that they are healthier and better for the community. It is a trend I hope to adopt.
  • My recent segue into OSU’s public health major is going great. I don’t know why I didn’t acknowledge this interest earlier. I enjoy my classes and am comfortable participating in discussions and knowing the answers when the instructor(s) ask a question. Good stuff.
  • Diet… Yes it’s going pretty slow. I’ve been in the 150 range for… almost two months. However, I just started working on muscle now, so that will take this experience to a whole new level.
    • And this weight-loss/muscle-build business is a big dealio. The fam-bam and I are hitting the islands (Maui) this July right after my summer session class here in Corvallis at OSU is completed. It will be an awesome transition from nose-to-the-grindstone consistency dealing with macroeconomics, to pure relaxation. And this is why it is so important to work on this muscle and finish up the losing of weight. I’ve got a challenge ahead, but I am crazy excited!

Public Health 225 is about to begin. Gotta go!

F1: February 24, 2010

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Academic week eight of ten, and in fortunate light, everything is coming to a close relatively nicely. The weather has somewhat improved over the days, but it is still far from “spring” status. It seems that the next couple of weeks, if managed well, will conclude to a nice, one-and-a-half week spring break. But until then, there is still plenty to focus on.

  • In COMM-114 (Argument and Critical Discourse), we have our final extra credit arguments to present tomorrow. There have been a total three of these speech/informative presentations – one each week. My group won the first round, however, many of our members were very busy and burnt out to give the second round any effort. We thought that we’d just opt-out since it’s likely that our voting class would have a bias against us anyway, since we already won extra points. But, we didn’t know that if we opted out, we would lose our points from the prior week. What did we do?… We winged it. Yeah, it wasn’t pretty – but even our T.A. said it wasn’t that bad for being presented without research or rehearsal. At least we got to keep our points.
    • There was one group last week that put a lot of work and practice into their presentation, but as a class we voted the winners to be a different group. Yesterday, one of the kiddos from the group that lost had a little chit-chat with our T.A. – complaining that it was unfair that they put so much effort forth and didn’t win. Can you believe this guy talked our T.A. into giving them extra credit points?! They were awarded half the amount of what a winning team gets – so five points instead of ten. I was still a little angry because I feel that it’s just tough luck if the class didn’t pick you. Now I feel like there needs to be a solid guideline in the class justifying who will get the effort points. They are awarded just out of her discretion? Now that is unfair.
    • Tomorrow’s presentation… We are going to win! No points for you whiny Group A! My group meets tonight at 9pm – this class requires us to meet so often to get our work done, that 9pm on Wednesdays has become similar to a ritual.
    • We have our big presentations covering our term-long research next week. I’m pretty nervous – fortunately I have the conclusion part of our argument… I feel like this is my strong-point.
  • In my NMC-301 (Writing for the Media Professional) class, we’re in our own small groups and have been working on one, giant project all term. We have lots left to record – not to mention editing! But I know we will pull it off… And it’ll be great! I’ve never failed a project like that in the past… Never will.
  • I register for classes tomorrow evening – I didn’t set up a counseling session this time – but I know what I need to take for requirements and whatnot – I just need to let them know that they made a mistake on my degree. But I’m also quite happy because I worked two schedules that I’d be willing to take next term. This way I have like a fail-safe… If one fails I’ve at least got the other… And no Friday classes again. This is so good! I can imagine the spring and summer weather already… and no strings to hold me down on Fridays. This should be fantastic.
    • I’m also considering volunteering at KBVR. I need experience for the real-world and practicum credit. The sooner the better. I feel like I’m starting a little late if I want to get a summer internship. Maybe… Lets hope for the best.
  • Recently, I’ve taken up running – mainly in the late afternoon or evening. It is absolutely phenomenal because I can jog now and not get so tired. When I was heavy, I just plainly never considered running. Towards the end of freshmen year, I tried running at a nearby track. My legs… They would hurt so bad. And my lungs and heart… They just couldn’t provide for my heavy self. Now it’s so different. The only thing that’s really holding me back are side-aches and mucous stuck in my mouth because I can’t spit. Talking about this all I want to go running right now, even though it’s raining. Dry and warmer weather ASAP, please!

Glass and the Jeans

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Just past 9pm, class was dismissed. Minutes later, goodbyes and fist-bumps exchanged, I took step towards the doors of Strand Agriculture Hall located just down a few feet of stairs. I look forth to see the bordering panes of aged glass around the exit of this dated building. The absence of sunlight blackened the windows looking out, leaving just the glossy appearance from reflections of the floor and walls. It was only as I approached did I turn my vision from the rubber slip-guarded steps to the pane of glass that harbored directly in front of me. And in the instant my eyes set forth and caught focus, I was taken aghast by my apparent twin in reflection. My mind instantly pulsed with remembrances of my image time ago – the days I have subconsciously forgotten – the days that I will never allow to return.

From the glass, the reflection I mistakenly viewed weighed in at 223 pounds, wore a lint-balled, black zip-up sweatshirt, and size-38 blue jeans that were both too big and too small at the same time. The rear of these pants was always baggy and loose, though, my large legs would fill the rest of the jeans quite considerably. It was a miserable battle as I would be seated and my thighs looked like rolling waves in the ocean, cling wrapped by denim – the seams of the pants became pressed to their max, and the line of embroidery appeared like a row of rivets on an airplane’s fuselage. Standing and walking, the jeans assumed a role similar to wearing a potato sack. With each stride, my colossal thighs would brush together, the texture of denim striking itself, sounding a sort of wisping and zipping blend of noises. The self-consciousness of such audible movements mentally beat me down. When I would look in the mirror, my sides would bow out after the hips and the side pockets would poke outwards with no more space left to reside. Then, one day the front button just seemed a bit harder to hook, and my envy in the appearance of others became unbearable. This was the last straw.

I’ve lived so much of my life in shame behind this damn fat – it’s over! My mental health was consistently in shambles as I endured this evil cast upon me day-after-day. I never went one moment without the feeling of sadness and disappointment. I am above that now, and life is very good. Sixty pounds later, I am never going back, for the glass and the jeans marked the last time being that twin on the outside looking in.